A Happy Sad Day

Friends of Marcy,

I ended the day with a couple of hours at Mom's bedside. Martha was an hour or so ahead of me-- there are concerns about Mom's right wrist: the muscles are tightening and turning in.

I had a long 1-on-1 talk w/ Mom. It appears that she can answer yes or no qstns by nodding or shaking her head. I think her mind is quite well intact. I think she understands 80-90% of what I was saying. If I am right, her thinking is pretty clear, but the messages her mind is sending to her speech center and motor skills are interrupted. In other words, she knows what she wants to say or do, but her body is not cooperating by producing the appropriate speech or action.

I am less sure re: this, but I think she can also read fairly well. She pulled a book out of a pile and I got the idea she wanted me to hold it and turn the pages for her. She seemed to be able to follow the story line. Large print helps.

If I am on the beam re: my communication w/ her, she knows what's what and is sometimes frustrated and discouraged at her situation. Yet she remains tenacious. She is exhausted from concentrating so hard to accomplish the simplest task. She is weary from 3 hours a day of therapy.

She is feeding herself one-handed (w/ the left!). Tonite she ate mashed potatoes, etc and drank thickened apple juice. She has an appetite (but not for the pureed meats she has been served). My Mom is still alive. She's still Marcy inside.

She was very interested as I gave her specific news of various family members. That leads me to the rest of my day. I spent hours combing through Mom's belongings. She had kept every piece of personal correspondence she had ever received in her adult life. I am not exaggerating. It was very tedious to weed thru it all. I pared down and pared down. Boatloads of stuff.

I am grateful that so many have written my Mom so consistently over the years. Particularly frequent writers of personal letters include her sister Dorothy Engebretsen, Jane Slade, Mom's brother Art and his wife Marilyn, Liz Williams, all 3 of us kids, Dorothy Stevens, emails from Lynn Davis and others as well. Mom saved every Christmas, birthday, and Mother's Day card she ever received-- I reiterate, I am not kidding. She seemed to have most every church bulletin, missionary communique' (incldg all of my monthly prayer lttrs from 14 yrs w/ Campus Crusade) and more that she ever rcvd. Her Grace Church family was truly dear to her-- she was very committed to the churtch. Those people have truly been the Body of Christ to my Mom (and to my family).

It was a lot of work, and not always fun, but it made me realize how important friends and family are to Mom. She is well loved and well-remembered. She printed out most of the emails she ever received as well-- not fun to sort through mounds of spam, but email has abeen a real lifeline to my now 80 year-old mother over the past few years.

It amazes me that Mom has new friends. That folks who knew her prior to 1998 (the 1st stroke) have remained loyal is commendable. Tha the Lord has brought new friends into her life since then (incldg here in TN, like Linda, who lovees here and visits her to fix her hair) is astounding. She is a warm, loyal , intelligent, endearing person. Her friends are okay too.

She has been (and still remains) a special lady. Thank you for remembering her. We closed our evening together w/ prayer.

Because Christ Lives,

Tom